Tuesday, 18 April 2006

• If one ever has the opportunity to become a sitting member on anything even loosely termed: Curriculum Committee, one would be well served to lie down and avoid it. I write this with terrifying first-hand knowledge. Curriculum Committees only exist in quantum states - they occur simultaneously in twelve co-existent dimensions of space and time, and it is only when some high school administrative jerkoff from Screwjob City decides to ruin an hour and a half after school for every department chair that Curriculum Committees even begin to form. Naturally, we perceive them from our tiny partition of time/space reality to be some necessary component to the governance of an educational facility. It would maybe even appear as though being invited to sit on such committees would be an (gulp) Honor.  This is pure fiction, of course. The "reality" of the situation is almost laughably contrary. In truth, there can be no necessary reason to form a Curriculum Committee. The decisions made and topics discussed have either already been decided or discussed by the individual members of the committee. And if department chairs are to facilitate communication between the lowly, cloistered teachers and our radiant, swollen Headmaster, this committee thing seems like a lot of hassle compared to the relative efficiency of a Suggestion Box outside BigHead's office - like one of those Jewish boxes on the outside of doorways...a Mezusah? Musesah? (Who made up Hebrew, anyway? Dr. Seuss?)* - each "suggestion" would amount to an expression of faith-based obediance. So the whole liaison-thing doesn't hunt, either. Ergo - it is my opinion that the un-natural occurance of such a pointless meeting for that period of time; the UNholy moment a group of low-level administrators sits together and begins to take MINUTES... It is at this moment that a terrible, gaping hole begins to form at the center of our continuum. Moons split and suns freeze. Time yawns and all reason; intelligibility; sense; order; substance; and without a doubt PURPOSE  - these things mean nothing in the great temporal wound we call Curriculum Committee.  For years I tried to deny it, too. Surely that's too absurd to be true, right? I mean, the alternative would seem to shed the blame for unrelenting hours of mindless tedium on the people on the committee. That would, in fact, condemn the intelligence and propriety of each and every member - including myself.  Now THAT'S absurd!

  Anywho. I managed to pass through the Curriculum Committee in relative repair. The beauty of passing through a vortex in the fabric of Logic and Reason is that you usually don't remember what the hell just happened, so there is a silver lining to the whole mind-screwing experience. Nature is so cool.

  * That by the way is a secular-crack at the root-origins of the language and is in no way meant in a religious or ethnic vein. Don't get me started on german, oy vey!

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